Sunday, October 17, 2010

how do i put it in words?

this week has been one of the hardest for me.

after years of praying, months of planning, weeks of packing...the big move was right smack upon me.

busy as a bee i have been-
packing boxes, organizing, re-packing boxes, packing suitcases, and packing crates...
oh, oh, oh- deciding what to put in the infamous "oranges" for the over seas extravaganza!
what a task!

one of the hardest parts this week-
deciding if this or that makes the cut!
does it go with us?
is it "special" enough to take up space in the pod?
must we give it away?
is it going to goodwill?
life. all the "stuff".
the couches, beds, mirrors, clothes, spices from the kitchen, baby stuff...that we gave away...
all of it represents my life, our life
over the past 10 1/2 years.
and it was hard to let it go. i wanted to keep it for next time. for later. but, we just couldn't.
we were out of space
and really... it's just stuff. and there is more where it came from. right?
still, it was hard.

then, oh then, there is the house.
the house
where with every wipe of the counter and every turn of the corner
memories flood my mind. life.
my life. our lives.
babies being raised. taking first steps. movie nites with popcorn. 4 kids in the jacuzzi tub. dinners. christmases. views from the back. homework. baking cookies.
memories. home.
it was there in that house.
and it was all i could have wanted it to be.

but, greater than all that
is God
and God called us to do something, something big
and no matter the cost
here we go
yes, i have moments of tears, of fears
of leaving home, our close families, our friends,
all we know
but God
He is with us always and we are following Him,
praising Him that He chose us to use for His glory!

so today we are "homeless"
homeless for Christ.
maybe i should put that on a bumper sticker
except that in just a few days we will be "car-less" too!

not sure i really put to words all that is running through this head and heart of mine.
but i tried.
if you're reading this
please pray for us this week and every time you can
yes, we are excited about this journey
but so many other emotions swirl around too.

as for this week...

we finish tying down loose ends.
loving on friends and family
and preparing our hearts and minds
for the adventure of a lifetime
one that calls us to sacrifice
one that will forever impact each one of us and so many others


dreamingBIGdreams said...

I'm speechless. So proud of you guys and so inpsired. Thanks for taking the hard road. You guys rock! Look forward to following this crazy journey you are about to begin!

Love Being a Nonny said...

I am reading *Radical* and am thinking that's what yall are....and I know HE is pleased. Go and minister...and be ministered TO. I am praying for you all.

Kristi J said...

wow...what profound words...thinking and praying for you guys...kristi

Dana said...

cherishing these last few days with you...soaking up every second, even late night packing last night. i am amazed by your faith and inspired by your faith. love you sis. all the way to africa. and back again. :)

Amanda Pilkinton said...

We love ya'll and we are so proud of you guys!

thebechs said...

Oh Courtney, you guys have not left our hearts and minds in the last few days...we are praying so much and will be faithfully over the coming days, months and years. We love you guys!! So honored that you are our sister and brother in into Him my friend!

Steph and Dusty said...

You post gave me chills. To think about what you are doing, what you have to look forward to and what you are leaving behind. Your family is an inspiration. I hope you keep your blog going while you are gone.

mommacarter said...

My first thoughts... are living what we are commissioned to
do. I am so proud to be your friend but as I sit here with tears welling up...I think about how much I will miss Briley's sweet hugs, Braxton's sky grins, Baron's daring spirit and getting to know Bristol. I will miss you and Joey just because! Please know I will be praying for you all and can't wait to hear and see updates! love you all! rc

Cassandra Britt said...

How amazing. You are in my prayers!!

Aunt Dee said...

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 19:29

IT'S TRUE, COURT! and I know EXACTLY where you are at THIS MOMENT (tears and all). just remember.....IT'S TRUE...MATTHEW 19:29....IT'S TRUE!

I love you, Aunt Dee :)