Friday, May 16, 2008

Fave Fotos Friday

Days I'll never forget..

  • My last pregnancy pic and Barron's birthday 9/24/07 (a day of ups and downs)
  • The first time I got to hold my newborn son 9/29/07
  • The day we got to bring home Barron Hudson 10/2/07

How excited we were to welcome our newest addition September 24, 2007. The big kids anxiously awaited the birth of a baby brother or sister. Surprise "it's a boy" !

How quickly things can change from joy to fear. Barron had lots of trouble figuring out the breathing thing. It is all a blur to me. I couldn't believe that I would have to deal with a Nicu baby and breathing issues and ventilators again. Braxton did the same thing, but, he was supposed to have problems being a 34 weeker. Barron was a full term baby and I didn't expect this. I wasn't prepared. Why Lord?

I can not explain the feelings of hovering over a Nicu bed and praying for your sweet baby. Of loving them so much without ever even holding them or really knowing them. There is such emotion that it can not be explained. So many beeps and buttons and tests. So much unknown. So many Doctors and nurses. I can't explain the feeling of pulling away from the hospital on your discharge day without your baby with you. It just isn't the way it is supposed to be. That truly was one of my toughest moments - you watch the world continue to go on around you, but, you are crumbling inside. I don't write this to be depressing, but, to just share how God has worked in our lives. How there was a happy ending twice. Twice God took us thru storms and we came out better off both times.

So, How does one get thru storms? Only by clinging to God. I can say my 2 Nicu experiences have made me a better person in every way. Truly, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I can get thru many experiences now just by putting them up to those times and saying "yep, I can conquer this". God does provide. He provides strength, patience, peace, hope, love, and joy among many other things. He doesn't always do it at your time, but, God does it. We may never know why Joey and I were chosen to go thru this battle not once, but 2 times. But, I do know we are forever changed and forever closer because of it. I know God is in control of every second of our lives and I know He blesses us abundantly as we daily seek His face. I know He has given us 2 handsome sons form the ordeal. Two boys that I love beyond words.

God has taught me.. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't get so caught up in life that you miss the little things. Don't worry, God is with you and He is in control. Cherish every single minute because you never know when the time will run out. My kids are more important than a clean house. Love with actions not just with words. Live what you preach. Use your trials you have overcome to help others. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. God never gives more than you can handle. Have Faith (Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1). Get on your knees! Don't be consumed with everyone else. Pray without ceasing. Be diligent and obedient to what has given you. Make a difference somehow every single day!

No comments: